All the Nothing I'm Doing

Hooray for referencing my own story title in this post title! How meta of me! Anyway, on with the blog:

At the moment, it's been over a year since I finished any serious writing. A year ago, after finishing The Kyroibi Trilogy, I'd planned to take some time off and get used to the day job before jumping back into what had become normal for the previous five years, which was multiple releases per year. Obviously, that didn't happen. 

Instead, I shifted focus to drawing because drawing was something I could do that was fun and didn't take as much of my brain as writing. But then, drawing went from fun to business when I decided on a lark to set up a Zazzle shop, and I'll be honest, I burned out on that a lot quicker than I did writing, mainly because I'd been there and done that. 

This year, I've taken baby steps towards writing again. I promised to have something to publish by the end of the year and I'd like to keep that promise if at all possible. But if it's not,  I won't force it, because that isn't healthy.

Yes, I'm going to go against all writing advice and let folks know that I am a human and as such, I experience burnout. At some point, creativity stopped being fun and became a job. I know I've mentioned this before, but I've also always claimed that one day, I'd muscle through and be back to my old ways.

In all honesty, I don't know if that's true. I want to write, and I definitely have some stories that I want to get out, but I can't force myself to do something that simply isn't working at the moment. Pushing past burnout only leads to a larger breakdown down the road. Call me selfish, but I won't put myself through that.

What I will do is what feels right. Like I said, I have projects on the back burner and sometimes, I really just want to write. When the mood strikes, I'll do just that. But if the mood says I lounge around binge watching Bon Appetit's YouTube channel, then that's what I'm doing.

So what happens if I never write again? That's probably the extreme, but let's just say for sake of argument that I'm done with words. What then? Well honestly? I set off to write a book in 2012. That book became a trilogy. That trilogy became one of three complete series alongside several standalone novels and stories. I can't really say I didn't complete what I set out to do. I've surpassed my own expectations. What more is there? 

Chances are, I will write again and it might even be good enough to print. But in the meantime, I'm still figuring out that whole self care thing. I highly recommend you take a moment to do the same.